Tuesday, May 8, 2012

{to my sweet girl on her 3rd birthday}

Dear Keira,

Today you are three! I can hardly believe it. This is the first birthday that you've really understood what having a birthday is all about. Your daddy and I woke you up this morning with a happy birthday song and birthday hugs - you were SO excited. All you could keep talking about is, "It's my birfday! I'm free now! I'm not two anymore! I'm a big kid now!" Never mind the fact that you had talked for weeks about finally going potty on the potty when you're three....yes we still need to work on that ;)

It doesn't seem that long ago that your dad picked me up from work and we rushed to the hospital, not knowing whether we would get sent home. Turns out, for a first baby you were born pretty quickly after only 12 hours of labor! The unexpected part is that you were pretty sick when you came out. We didn't get to hold you and you were rushed straight to a NICU bed. I felt so empty, a failure even though rationally I knew it wasn't my fault. Instead of happiness those first few days were filled with a lot of worry and crying.

You were so perfect. Perfect round head and tiny nose. Cute little fingers and toes and just a bit of blonde hair. Big blue eyes. The nurses always commented on how beautiful you were and even how you almost would show a hint of a smile from even the first few days. Unfortunately we wouldn't get to take you home for almost 3 weeks. You were a stubborn little thing and just couldn't make it without your oxygen on. We were helpless and the days were filled with driving to and from Iowa City, worry, fitful sleep and sitting with you in the hospital.

Finally we took you home, a week after your due date ;) Although I wasn't prepared for the lack of sleep that comes with a newborn, you were a good baby. Mostly happy and content and slept well in your crib. Unfortunately there are a few months that I wish I could remember more clearly, but due to PPD I had a tough time. I am so sorry that I missed out but I want you to know that I always loved you and took good care of you....even when I wasn't taking good care of myself.

With that behind us I really feel like I could finally get into the groove of being a good mama. You were such a smart baby from early on....learning your ABCs and colors and numbers before I knew it. You loved to play outside and watch your cartoons on Nick Jr. Despite your rough start, you've only had one ear infection and that's the sickest you've ever been! I am so grateful for that.

You love to play at the park, you love your My Little Ponies and you are quite dramatic at times. You're a little sassy sometimes and it makes your daddy and I pull our hair out, but at the same time I am thankful for your tenacity. You have the prettiest blue eyes and curly blonde hair. You talk non stop and love to sing. You have such good manners, always remembering to say please, thank you, I'm sorry and you're welcome. You make us so proud to call you our daughter. I know you are one smart cookie and I can't wait to see the girl and young woman you grow into. You are the light of your grandparent's lives and no one can resist your infectious laugh and smile.

In a few short months you're also going to be a big sister! I know you are going to be a big help and you're very excited. I also know that you're going to be a bit bossy to him :)

We love you so much and are so thankful that our lives are blessed with you. Happy birthday baby girl!

Love,
Mommy

3 comments:

meganklauer said...

Happy Birthday sweet Keira! And beautifully written mama!

Shelley Haganman said...

What a wonderful post!

em said...

This puts a smile on my face. :) My daughter turned three a couple months ago...can't believe how quickly they grow up!!